


Dance Dance With Me

by Chenni



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: A blond Jongdae will appear, He also whines, M/M, Mentions of Anxiety, Mild Language, Mild Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-31
Updated: 2017-08-31
Packaged: 2018-12-22 01:35:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11956938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chenni/pseuds/Chenni
Summary: Chen is the hottest idol on the market and absolutely everyone wants a piece of him. Too bad the one person he wants - one of his backup dancers Kai - doesn't seem to know he exists unless Kai is staying back with him to practice his choreography.





	Dance Dance With Me

**Author's Note:**

> My dearest prompter, thank you so much for such a wonderful prompt! It caught my eye immediately and it really did become my baby this summer. It was a joy to write so I hope you'll enjoy reading it. Also a huge thanks to my beta D!!! This fic wouldn’t exist without your advice and support. Idk what I'd do without you. And finally, a huge thank you to the mods for hosting this!! I hope you all enjoy!
> 
> Disclaimer: It was really difficult to find articles about Korean backup dancers, studios, and comebacks that were written in English. Therefore, everything presented in this fic has been gathered from what I have found, observed, or what seemed the most reasonable to me. So PLEASE keep in that in mind and don’t conclude that this is the way things work in Korea. I don't confirm anything. For example, I don’t how 1Million runs their dance studio. Everything I wrote was only for the fic but I did try my best.
> 
> Title taken from Day6's song, Dance Dance :)

“Hello everyone! I’m Chen but you may also call me by my real name, Jongdae. I will work hard to produce a good stage with you all. I ask that you please care of me,” Jongdae finishes with a bow to the room. He’s extremely relieved when he’s greeted back with a warm response of clapping. He stands back up with a smile on his face. 

Every day feels like a dream, mainly because he is living his dream. Jongdae’s lucky enough to not only debut as a solo artist, but he’s also lucky enough to be successful, accepted, and loved as one of Korea’s famous singers. It’s the most surreal when he sees his Daesang for Song of the Year resting in its enclosed glass case inside his apartment. However, with his success comes a heavy burden; the pressure to come out with bigger, even better music. It’s nerve-wracking to say the least.

Kasper comes up to him first, “It’s great to work with you again my friend.”

“Same! I was so excited when I heard that you were the choreographer this time! Congratulations by the way.”

“Thank you! I appreciate it but I do have to warn you, I didn’t make this dance easy. You might not like me as your choreographer afterwards.” 

Kasper puts a hand on his shoulder. “But I believe in you and I know you can do it. Plus, I personally chose these dancers for you and I think you’ll be happy with the results. They seem very excited to work with you,” Kasper adds with a laugh because most of the guys have stood up from the floor and crowded around them, clearly waiting for a chance to join in the conversation.

“I trust you. You know what you’re doing and I’m ready to work hard. Let’s all do our best everyone!”

There’s a loud cheer that replaces Jongdae’s nerves with hope. He needs everyone in this room to like him because these are the people he will be working with the most for this comeback. They are the ones who will make his comeback stage come to life. Plus, it’s always so much better when he works with people who want to work with him too.

Kasper politely steps aside so Jongdae can begin sharing introductions or reunions with them. One guy doesn’t even hesitate to pull out a sharpie and album. He knows a couple idols who would complain about this, but Jongdae honestly doesn’t mind. After all, it’s the least he can do for his backup dancers. 

The next face he sees is a familiar one. “Hi Jongdae. I don’t know if you remember me, but I worked with you a year ago. I’m happy I get to work with you again.”

“Yixing, please stop. Of course I remember you! If it wasn’t for you I would still be tripping over my feet every time I perform Lil Something,” Jongdae confesses shaking his head. 

Yixing has always been like this. An extremely talented and highly respected name in the dance world, but frustratingly modest. Yixing is still shy when he smiles back, “I’m always happy to help when I can.”

“Alright,” Kasper interrupts, putting an arm around Yixing and poking his dimple. “Have you met everyone? We have a lot to learn today so we should begin soon.”

“Yes, that’s fine with me.”

They spread out across the dance floor which gives Jongdae the opportunity to count them. He counts eight guys which means their stage will be complete with nine people. However, that’s not what catches Jongdae’s attention. Standing closer to the back is a dancer Jongdae hadn’t noticed yet. He either arrived late or they weren’t introduced, but Jongdae recognizes who it is immediately because it’s one of SM’s most popular backup dancers, someone who goes by the name of Kai.

No one knows that Jongdae is already familiar with Kai. They’ve never performed together and they’ve never even met, but Jongdae knows exactly who Kai is. Kai is a dancer from the same company as Yixing and Kasper, 1Million Dance Studio. He’s someone SM hires a lot, probably because his skills are literally _that_ good. Jongdae can testify because he’s seen it himself. 

When Jongdae first saw Kai, it was during one of Baekhyun’s music show stages. Basically, SM uploaded the video on YouTube, Jongdae clicked on it to watch and support his friend, and then Jongdae didn’t even pay attention to him. Instead, Jongdae paid attention to the dancer with kohl lined eyes, healthy glowing skin, and rich black hair dancing behind Baekhyun.

As Baekhyun’s friend, he did feel a bit guilty about that but it was pretty understandable considering that he had just witnessed someone who might in fact be an angel walking on Earth. Kai is that talented and handsome. 

Jongdae was seriously taken aback because he meets famous people all the time. Of course he finds a lot of them attractive, but Jongdae thinks Kai could even overtake some of the top visuals in Korea. Jongdae literally couldn’t take his eyes off him in that video, and he spent an hour searching through Baekhyun’s other videos for any more glimpses of him. 

He even searched for fancams, that’s how desperate Jongdae was. He didn’t find any specific ones, but he did spot him in some videos 1Million uploaded onto their Instagram. He watched them all greedily, extremely disappointed when he learned that Kai didn’t have his own Instagram account like some of the other dancers do. 

However, he did find out that Kai has a reputation. Fans like to call him the visual backup dancer of SM, and Jongdae couldn’t agree more. His looks and his talent are dazzling. Jongdae has never seen a more beautiful dancer. Ever since, he’s been secretly hoping that Kai would also become his backup dancer one day. Lucky for him, that day is today.

\- 

They manage to finish the entire dance hours later when the mirrors are completely fogged from the amount of humidity nine guys created in the room. He’s thankful they’ve reached the end of the choreography, but that’s only the first obstacle because it’s more than just memorizing the dance. Now he must practice every move over and over again until it’s unconditionally perfect.

It’s not like he didn’t believe Kasper, but he definitely wasn’t exaggerating. This is by far the hardest choreography he’s ever had to learn. Jongdae’s muscles ache just thinking about how many more hours are ahead of him. Now he’s grateful for the lighter schedule he’s been given this month because he has a feeling he’s going to be spending most of that time in the practice room. Jongdae’s dancing might have improved greatly since debut, but he still has to work hard to perform well.

Kasper ends practice with a clap, “We’ve finished the dance so we’ll stop here today. Get some rest and we will begin working on the formations tomorrow.” He meets Jongdae’s eyes, “Can I talk to you before you go? Everyone else is free to leave. Excellent job everyone!”

They all clap, returning the sentiments and Jongdae politely says his goodbyes before going to Kasper. Earlier he had hoped he could meet Kai after practice but Kai had already gone over to his personal belongs anyway.

“What’s up?”

“Well, I wanted to talk to you about your extra practices. I know you have experience working with Yixing, but if you’re not opposed I’d rather you work with Jongin this time. He’s about to start leading his own classes at our studio, so I’d like for him to get this kind of experience. He’s taught people before, but I think working with you could be good for him.”

“Oh…Yes, of course.” 

Jongdae must not be hiding his feelings well because Kasper is quick to add, “But you shouldn’t worry! Jongin is 100% capable, and I wouldn’t ask this if I didn’t think he could do it. He’s a very talented dancer. I think you’ll like him a lot actually. You’ve already met him, right?”

“Um, I’m not sure.” Jongdae scratches the back of his head, “I don’t think I recognize that name.”

“Oh, really? I’m sorry. I thought you did. Hey Jongin! Can you come here really quick?” 

It suddenly clicks when Kai puts down his towel and walks over to them. Kai must be his stage name and his real name must be Jongin.

Jongdae can’t keep the smile to himself. So, he is going to meet this beautiful man today and better yet, he’s going to have private dance practices with him. Oh yes, Jongdae’s going to miss working with Yixing, but he thinks he’s going to enjoy working with Jongin a lot too.

“Jongdae told me you two haven’t officially met yet.” Kasper gestures between them, “Jongdae, this is Kim Jongin. Jongin, you already know who this is.” 

Jongin nods and bows respectfully to Jongdae, “I’m looking forward to working with you, Chen.”

“Jongdae,” he reminds him. “Please call me Jongdae.”

“Jongdae,” Jongin repeats. He has an attractive voice. Deep but somehow also cute. Jongdae might be a bit biased.

“Alright, well that’s all I wanted to talk about with you, Jongdae. Do you have any more schedules today?” Kasper asks.

“No. This was my last schedule today.”

“Good. Then you should go home and try to take a cold bath if you’re able to. It’ll help with the soreness tomorrow. And don’t stress about the dance too much yet. You and Jongin can start working after practice tomorrow and then plan a schedule with your manager for the future. See you guys tomorrow!”

“Alright! Bye Kasper,” Jongdae waves goodbye to him when he walks away and leaves them standing alone together.

Jongdae attempts to make a conversation first, “I recognized you when I saw you. I think your stage name is Kai?”

Jongin, who was watching Kasper leave, turns his head in surprise. Jongdae quickly explains, “I’m close friends with Baekhyun so I watch his stages from time to time. You’ve worked for him?”

“I have.” He doesn’t add more so Jongdae tries again. 

“You’re really good. Better than Baekhyun but don’t tell him I said that.”

That does manage to get a smile out of Jongin, “Thanks. I think Baekhyun’s a great dancer so that’s a compliment to me.”

“It was one. I can definitely see why SM hires you and I can’t wait for us to work together…”

He’s interrupted by Junmyeon, who appears by the door. “Jongdae, we should go. I met Kasper outside briefly so I’m going to assume that this is Jongin. Hello I’m Junmyeon, Jongdae’s manager.”

“It’s nice to meet you,” Jongin politely greets him back.

“Wait, we need to go over my schedule with Jongin so we can schedule our practice dates.” Jongdae tries to give Junmyeon a look, relaying the message that he doesn’t want to leave yet. Unfortunately, it doesn’t work.

“Yes, I know. I’ll get with you alone to go over Jongdae’s schedule soon. Thanks again,” Junmyeon gives Jongin a small wave.

“Oh. Yes. Of course.”

God dammit Junmyeon. Well at least he tried. “Bye Jongin!” Jongdae quickly says when Junmyeon puts a hand on his back to lead him out.

He’ll just have to try again tomorrow.

\- 

The next day is just as tiresome as the first. Jongdae had taken a bath the night before, but dancing still hurt more today than it did yesterday. To be honest, Jongdae doesn’t hate learning the choreography. He has a more difficult time learning the formations because it involves a lot of movement and one mistake will affect everybody. He’s definitely thankful that he’s staying after with Jongin today to practice more. He needs it and well…it will be the first time today that Jongdae even talks to him.

He’s not exactly sure why Jongin seems to be conveniently on the other side of the room from wherever Jongdae is. Or why Jongin’s good at starting a conversation with another dancer before Jongdae can come up to talk to him. It’s not completely his fault because Jongdae has also been caught up in a lot of conversations too, but it’s still disappointing. Jongdae just wants to get to know him better and, at this point, for Jongin to even acknowledge him would be incredible. Just one look would make him happy, but Jongdae feels like he’s being ignored.

It isn’t until it’s time for Jongin and Jongdae to have their first practice alone together that Jongin finally looks at him. “Let’s run through it from the beginning once and then we’ll work from there. Ignore the formations for now.”

Jongin waits until Jongdae gets in starting position before playing the music. This is the first time that Jongdae’s gotten to dance directly beside him, but it only takes until the first chorus for Jongdae to feel completely intimidated. 

Jongin has already perfected the dance. He looks like a freaking dance god and honestly, Jongdae looks like he’s dancing with two left feet next to him. It sucks because Jongdae would much rather be impressing him right now.

When the song finally ends, Jongdae puts a hand on his waist to catch his breath and prepare himself for what’s coming next. If Jongin’s a strict teacher then the criticism won’t be pretty.

“That wasn’t bad! There are some parts I think we should go over first, but it looks like you at least memorized the order of the moves correctly which is a great start.”

Jongdae’s shocked. “Did you see how many mistakes I made? I looked like a new trainee next to you.”

“But you just learned this dance yesterday,” Jongin reminds him. “Kasper taught me this dance weeks ago so I would be able to help you. Plus, I have worked with new trainees and you’re definitely not one.” Jongin smiles and it makes him look like an angel. God, Jongin is so kind.

“You’re a lot nicer than my company’s trainers. I would have been doing thirty push-ups for the way I danced.”

“Well actually, push-ups are a great exercise for dancers to do. If you build up your arm muscles you’ll be able to hit the moves stronger and cleaner. They were probably just trying to help you improve.”

“Oh…”

Jongin laughs a little, “I won’t make you do push-ups, but let’s continue to work hard today.”

Jongin turns on the music again and they run through it until Jongdae makes a mistake. As it turns out, Jongin is a good teacher. He carefully walks through the steps that give Jongdae the most trouble and he explains it slowly for him when he asks a question. Which is good because Jongdae asks a lot of questions.

He’s not a natural at dancing. He’s not bad, but he does need more time and practice than most people do. Thankfully, Jongin is giving him the patience and extra time he needs. It’s also a relief because, as attractive as Jongin is, Jongdae wouldn’t let his personal interest rule over his rationality if they didn’t work well together. This comeback means everything to him.

Although, Jongdae might be the problem himself because he pays too much attention to Jongin instead of what he’s doing. He can’t help it when Jongin rolls his sleeves past his shoulders so his arm muscles are exposed. Or when Jongdae gets a brief glimpse of honey bronze abs that peek out when Jongin dances and his shirt lifts. Jongin must work out outside of the dance room and Jongdae has thoroughly enjoyed every view he’s gotten today. He misses a step from his ogling.

“You’re still missing this part. Can you try it again?”

Jongdae does it, but Jongin shakes his head.

“You need to bend your knees more. One more time.”

Before he can even finish trying, Jongin comes around him and puts his hands on his waist to push him lower. “Again,” he says close to his ear and he guides Jongdae’s hips through the move when he does it again. Jongdae’s on the verge of freaking out and possibly dying because this is _hot_. However, he lets go too innocently afterwards.

“That was easier, right? One of the most common mistakes people make when they dance is that they’ll forget to bend their knees enough. Therefore, I always tell my students that when in doubt, you should bend your knees more!”

“Bend your needs more…Right.” 

Never in his life has Jongdae heard someone say that and yet, Jongin looks extremely pleased with himself. He has to wonder if this Jongin’s way of making a move on him or if this is completely normal. It probably is normal and Jongdae’s just making it weird. Either way, why complain? Jongin is more than welcome to hold his waist any day. The more skinship, the better. God, he’s beginning to sound like Baekhyun. 

Unfortunately for Jongdae, that’s the most “handsy” their practice gets.

\- 

As soon as Junmyeon drops him off at his apartment that night, Jongdae calls up Baekhyun, “Your backup dancer is extremely hot. I’m so upset.”

“Excuse me??”

“Well actually he’s my backup dancer now. Not yours.”

“Wow, okay excuse you, but who are you talking about? I didn’t even realize you were preparing for your comeback already.”

“Kim Jongin! He’s seriously so hot, Baekhyun. He even tried to kill me today.”

“Kim Jongin…Oh! You’re talking about Kai?” Baekhyun snickers on the other end of the phone. “O-kay, I understand now. He is super hot, but what was that you said? He tried to kill you?"

“Yes!” Jongdae exclaims. “He helps me after practice. Therefore today when I wasn’t getting a move right, he came up behind me and put his hands on my waist, as if that was a completely normal thing for a dance teacher to do! And you know what he told me afterwards? That I should always remember to bend my knees.”

Baekhyun’s notoriously loud laugh takes out an eardrum. “Oh yeah, he does do that. I’ve also been a victim.”

“Really? So this is normal?” He’s so disappointed.

“Yes, but I would still argue that isn’t exactly…normal. Maybe he only does it to attractive people?”

“But I thought I was special,” Jongdae whines.

“Don’t worry angel, you are special,” Baekhyun teases him for it. “But I don’t know. I wasn’t there to see it so I can’t confirm anything. I can only tell you that he’s done that to me too.”

Jongdae sighs, “No…you’re probably right. It could just be a teaching mechanism of his. So far at our group practices, he hasn’t looked or talked to me at all. On the first day of practice, he didn’t introduce himself to me the even though everyone else did. I don’t think he would even notice me if this wasn’t his job.”

“That’s a lie. There’s no way he wouldn’t notice you when your face is literally everywhere. Everyone wants you in their ads, on their variety shows, in their OSTs. Heck, they even want you on their food packages. Jongdae, Korea is obsessed with you.”

Jongdae sighs again, “I don’t know…I shouldn’t expect everyone to like me just because I have a lot of fans you know? How was it for you? Did he ever talk to you?”

“Well, we aren’t close enough to be called friends, but we have talked and he definitely never ignored me.”

“Then why?? Why does he ignore me??”

“Maybe he’s shy?” Baekhyun offers.

“Or maybe he’s just not interested.” 

Jongdae has to think about this because Jongin was too nice to him today at practice for him to believe that Jongin dislikes him. Yet, he also doesn’t believe that he’s too shy either. He seemed comfortable when it was just the two of them at practice.

It makes him feel as if Jongin really is uninterested in him and the past two days have merely been business professional. And that should be completely okay. Jongin isn’t obligated to like him and he would never force him to. But…is it so bad for Jongin to notice him too? It’s okay for Jongdae to have that one simple desire, right? Even if Jongdae is secretly wishing for more?

Baekhyun interrupts his thoughts, “I wouldn’t jump to conclusions yet. What about you? Have you tried approaching him? Maybe that’s the problem. He’s the kind of guy who you have to approach first.”

“Well…No. Today the other dancers came up to me first so it was hard to leave a conversation.”

“Then there you go! Next time you go to practice, walk straight to him. Don’t look at anyone else! Don’t even set your stuff down! Make it your mission to talk to him first!”

“Yeah, Okay! I’ll try that. Thanks Baekhyun.”

“No problem. I’m going to let you go now though. It’s getting late and I have to go to bed so I don’t look dead tomorrow morning at my magazine shoot.”

“I understand. I’ll talk to you later.”

“Oh wait! Jongdae, one more thing.”

“Hm?”

Baekhyun pauses for a second, “Don’t forget to bend your knees!”

“STOP-” Baekhyun hangs up, viciously laughing before Jongdae can get another word in. Baekhyun did offer some logical advice though. At their next practice Jongdae is going to approach Jongin first and make more of an effort. After all, he has to be a likable guy right? He wouldn’t have fans otherwise. So maybe Jongin will become interested in him too one day.

\- 

Apparently, it wasn’t that easy. The next time Jongdae showed up to practice, Jongin wasn’t even there yet so he got swooped into a conversation with Yixing instead. Then by the time he did arrive, Kasper was already calling everyone out to the dance floor.

However, Jongdae didn’t let that deter him. He knew he could try to approach him during the water breaks. Or, at least he thought he could until Jongin made it much more obvious that he was avoiding him.

Whether Jongin had to leave the room to use the restroom or to get one of the cold towels from the fridge down the hall, he always found an excuse to get away when Jongdae tried to approach him.

One time Jongdae actually did approach Jongin, but he was already so engrossed in a conversation with another dancer named Hansol that Jongdae stood there awkwardly instead because Jongin wouldn’t stop talking. Hansol at least looked apologetic, but Jongdae was extremely embarrassed. He didn’t try to talk to Jongin for the rest of practice until they stayed after, which is honestly the worst part about this entire ordeal.

It’s almost as if Jongin becomes a completely different person when it’s just the two of them. He watches him dance through the mirror the entire time, he touches him, and he constantly gives him feedback. He finally gets his attention and it’s almost too much because eventually, Jongin begins critiquing Jongdae on everything that could help improve his performance. 

Turn your head sharper on this part. Your arms need to be higher here. Push your shoulders back. Point your toes. Don’t look down. Remember to look at the camera.

One day, after many hours of this and Jongin touches his hips again, Jongdae snaps.

“Jongin,” he says loud enough that Jongin takes his hands off and takes a step back. 

“Yeah?” he asks.

“Honestly, I’m really tired and hungry. Can we just call it quits for today and get dinner together instead?”

Jongin looks up at the clock on the wall. “Would your manager let you? It’s only seven o’clock. You could run into fans.”

He scoffs, “So?”

“So, isn’t that a problem? You could get mobbed or harassed.”

That makes Jongdae laugh. Jongin sounds like his manager, except way cuter. He looks so innocent and worried, like he’s never snuck out during practice which is doubtful. Everyone’s done that before. 

“You’re right. That could happen, but I shouldn’t stop living my life because of some crazy fans. Besides, you aren’t giving my fans enough credit! I have fans who will stare or will ask for a picture, but a lot of them will also respect my space afterwards. If not, I have numbers I can call.”

“Oh…” Jongin still looks unsure so Jongdae sticks out his lower lip. His fans go crazy for his pout. He knows it’s cute and he also knows that it’s one of his greatest weapons. 

“Please? I don’t even want to go somewhere crowded. It’s a small sushi restaurant that’s not far from the studio. That’s where I want to go and I’m so hungry that I’m starting not to feel well,” he whines at the end for the extra support.

It works like a charm. Jongin puts his hands on his shoulders, looking at him from eye to eye with concern. “Are you okay? Do you feel lightheaded?” 

“Not too much. I just need food.” 

Jongdae feels a bit bad for exaggerating, especially when Jongin visibly looks conflicted, but Jongdae doesn’t know why he didn’t think of this sooner. It’s the perfect opportunity to talk to him outside of work and maybe he can actually start learning about Jongin. He’s dying to get to know the person behind such a handsome smile.

“Okay, but can you let your manager know? We should probably wash up first.”

“Yeah I’ll text him. Let’s go! The sooner the better,” Jongdae says gathering his things. 

They go to the washroom and wash up quickly in their separate stalls. Jongdae tries his best not to think about Jongin showering naked not too far away from him, and he makes the water extra cold for good measure. He’s thankful SM has these kinds of convenient things for their artists, but in situations like this, he needs to be careful.

“Did your manager respond back?” Jongin asks, already dressed and waiting for him when Jongdae steps out clean and in his change of clothes.

Jongdae pulls out his phone. There’s a long text, a lecture listing all the reasons why it’d be better for Junmyeon to bring him food instead, but if he did go, to be careful. It humors him because Junmyeon’s obviously used to Jongdae not listening to him when it comes to food.

“Yup, he said it’s fine. He’ll come to the studio around nine to pick me up.”

“Okay. I guess we can go then,” Jongin relents.

Jongdae smiles victoriously.

\- 

The walk to the restaurant is quieter than Jongdae would have liked, but in his defense, Jongin is acting as if they’ll get jumped at any moment even though Jongdae is wearing a hat to make himself less noticeable.

Actually, the way Jongin is behaving is adorable. When Jongdae walked on the side of the sidewalk that’s closest to the road, Jongin gently pushed him over and took his spot instead. Then anytime they passed someone, he walked in front to try to block their view of Jongdae.

He had no idea that Jongin would be this thoughtful. It’s clear that he does care about Jongdae and he’s doing his best to protect his identity so he doesn’t get bothered. It makes his heart flutter because wow. Jongin must be a kind-hearted guy. Jongdae appreciates the gesture.

When they arrive at the place, the owners recognize Jongdae and greet him nicely before giving him a table in the back of the room where he’s less likely to be bothered. Jongdae’s not surprised when Jongin forces him to take the seat that has his back faced towards most of the restaurant.

“Jongin,” Jongdae eventually has to call for his attention because he’s still keeping watch. “I don’t think anyone recognized me and it’s not the end of the world if someone does. You should look at your menu and order something. You must be starving too.”

As if on cue, there’s a sound coming out of Jongin’s stomach and he looks absolutely mortified. Jongdae can’t help laughing and he’s probably too loud because now Jongin looks even more panicked.

“It’s okay! It’s okay! Geez, do we need to order some soju? I’ve never seen you so tense before.” Jongdae reaches for the drink menu but Jongin grabs his hand to stop him.

“No. It’s fine. I’ll just…order food,” Jongin says letting go of his hand. The embarrassment on his face is undeniable. Thankfully for him, the waiter comes to take their order. Jongdae goes first and then he watches Jongin quickly decide on something before handing back the menus. Jongin is seriously way too adorable.

When he first saw him dance, he thought that Jongin would have a strong, outgoing personality to mirror his stage presence. He wasn’t expecting this cute, shy side of him instead. Jongin has probably never looked awkward on stage either, but right now Jongin looks awkward as hell, biting his lip and looking down at the paper straw wrapper he has bunched between his fingers.

Jongdae takes his own wrapper and blows it at his face with his straw. Taken by surprise, Jongin’s head shoots up.

“I want to ask you something,” Jongdae declares.

Jongin looks back down at his wrapper and then pushing it aside before looking up again, “Yeah?”

“How long have you been a backup dancer?”

Jongin looks surprised, but not uncomfortable. He had a feeling that dance would be an easy conversation starter for him. It seems he was right.

“Well, I joined my first studio when I was a kid. Then I began switching to different studios when I got older. I’ve actually known Yixing since I was 15 years old. He attended one of those studios with me for a couple years. Afterwards we stayed in touch and he’s the reason why I got an interview with 1Million.”

“Wow really? I didn’t realize that’s how you two knew each other.”

“Yeah!” Jongin exclaims. “I’m very thankful because 1Million has been exactly what I’ve been looking for. I wanted to teach, but I also wanted to perform. I never thought I’d get the chance to be a backup dancer, but 1Million gave me that opportunity. I feel very lucky.”

“I can relate to the feeling,” Jongdae says thinking back to his own experience when he got casted by a representative at his university. “It’s not easy being a backup dancer, is it?” 

Jongin laughs but shakes his head looking a little sad, “No, not at all. A lot of people get the wrong impression and think we’re just a bunch of failed trainees. They think this is our backup job. I won’t say that there aren’t a lot of dancers who originally wanted to become idols, but our job is a lot more than a Plan B. We do it because we love it and we’re addicted to the stage. I’m sure you know what I’m talking about? There’s the adrenaline rush, but even more than that you’re in complete power and control.”

“You have everyone’s attention and you get to create something that people will want to watch and enjoy,” Jongdae adds for him and Jongin smiles.

“Exactly! But the problem is that there are countless others who share the same passion so it’s an incredibly competitive profession. Even if you’re good, you’re not good enough. Even if you’re amazing, there’s still someone who’s better than you. Even if you’re the best of the best, it might not even matter because whoever’s judging you might like someone else’s style instead.”

Jongdae nods his head, “There’s no clear light at the end of the tunnel. No guarantee of success.”

Jongin agrees solemnly, “Yeah. That’s another reason why I like 1Million so much. There’s still a tough audition process you have to go through, but they give everyone the opportunity. That’s how I became a backup dancer for SM. I was able to audition, one of the reps liked my dancing, and then I was hired. I’ve been getting hired by them ever since.”

“I know it wasn’t easy and you had to work very hard for this, but I’m still not surprised,” Jongdae confesses. “You’re an incredible dancer and your stage presence is out of this world, Jongin. I’m more surprised that you aren’t an idol. You have all the qualities of one.”

Jongin wrinkles his nose, “I’ve been told that before, but I don’t have the desire for it. At least not yet, no offense.

“None taken,” Jongdae waves aside.

“I’m happy where I am now. I still get to perform on stage, but I don’t have to deal with crazy schedules or crazy fans.” Jongin’s face softens, “Thank you though. I can’t even tell you how much that means to me.”

“Of course! I meant it” Jongdae beams back at him.

Their food finally comes out Jongdae’s extremely grateful because even though he’s used to working long hours without many food breaks, he is very hungry. He hasn’t had his favorite sushi in a long time either. 

“So, what about you? Have you been singing your whole life?” Jongin inquires.

“Yup! Straight out of the womb! Babies usually come out crying, but I was singing.”

Jongdae thought it was a relatively funny joke, but Jongin’s laughing so hard, he has to put down his chopsticks and fan his face because tears are leaking from his eyes. He must have completely forgotten about his fear of Jongdae being in public because he laughs long enough that Jongdae has to laugh now too. They’re probably attracting a lot of attention, but he’s grateful for the moment. Jongin needs to laugh more and it makes him feel like he is breaking down another wall.

“Can you actually imagine a baby coming out singing though?”

“Yeah that would be pretty weird,” Jongdae agrees.

Jongin wipes his eyes with his napkin, “Okay, but I still want to know; how long have you wanted to be a singer?”

“A pretty long time,” Jongdae admits. “When I was a kid I was always chosen to sing for my school performances. Then in secondary school I joined a couple of plays and discovered how well I could sing. Therefore, I applied to a music school and I got in. That’s when my vocal training began and I was luckily casted for a SM audition. I never expected to get in, but I got accepted after my first try. The whole story is crazy honestly.”

“Yeah, didn’t you only train for a few months before debut?”

Jongdae’s shocked Jongin knows that. However, SM trainees are known for training many years before debut so maybe that’s how Jongin knows. “Yeah. It was four months to be exact. I probably wasn’t ready, but they already wanted me out there and thankfully my debut didn’t go bad. However, I was extremely nervous and worried at the time.”

“It was a great song! Deserves more popularity in my opinion.”

“You’ve listened to my music?” Jongdae asks surprised.

Jongin’s pretty tan, but he’s almost positive that his cheeks are blushing right now. “Yes? Why do you sound so surprised?”

“Because I am! You don’t act like you listen to my music.”

“What do you mean?” Jongin asks looking bewildered.

“Well whenever we are at practice with the rest of the group, you’re always avoiding or ignoring me. You literally only talk to me when we practice one-on-one. It’s almost as if I don’t even exist otherwise.” 

One thing about Jongdae is that he’s a straightforward guy. It’s not a bad trait per se because it helps him avoid unnecessary conflict, but it also causes him to call out Jongin without thinking about it. Therefore, he expects Jongin to get upset or offended. He doesn’t expect the way Jongin actually responds.

“You noticed?”

Jongdae gaps at him. “You really were ignoring me on purpose?”

They both blink at each other for a few moments before Jongin puts down his chopsticks and runs a hand through his hair. It’d be attractive if Jongdae wasn’t upset.

“I was, but I wasn’t ignoring you because of…you.”

“Okay…I don’t know what that means.”

“It means I didn’t want to bother you. You’re a very famous idol so you must have people who come up to you all the time. That can’t be easy for you to deal with everyday so I didn’t want to do that to you too. That’s why I avoid you. I was trying to give you space.”

For the first time in a long time, Jongdae is at a loss for words. He genuinely thought Jongin was uninterested, but now it’s starting to make sense. He still can’t believe Jongin is that nice of a guy to consider that for him. It’s honestly one of the most thoughtful actions anyone could ever do for him because he’s right. It is exhausting to constantly be socializing, especially for Jongdae because he used to be a homebody who enjoyed having time to himself. 

It just sucks because out of all the people who could have considered his feelings like that, it had to be the one guy whose attention he wanted the most and now Jongdae can only laugh bitterly to himself because of course this would happen to him.

“It’s true. People do come up to me all the time and sometimes it is difficult for me to deal with, especially if it’s at the wrong time or place. So I really appreciate the fact that you thought of me.” Jongdae meets his eyes, “But, you don’t bother me at all. We’re working together so I want you to come up and talk to me. And more than just a backup dancer or teacher, I’d like you as friend. Actually, it bothered me more when you ignored me. I thought you didn’t like me.” Jongdae pouts.

“That’s not true! I like you a lot!!” Jongdae’s eyes widen and Jongin winces before continuing. “You’re an extremely talented and popular idol, but you’re still nice to everyone. I think you’re a remarkable person and I’m sorry I made you feel that way. It was never my intention.”

“I’ll forgive you if you become my friend.”

It’s a cheap move, but Jongin finds it funny enough to laugh out loud, “I can do that if you’re sure that’s really what you want.”

“I’m sure.”

They smile at each other and Jongdae thinks they might have finally made a breakthrough today.

\- 

Something does change between Jongin and Jongdae. The next time Jongdae went to practice, Jongin was the first person to greet him at the door and now they’ve been talking ever since. Whether it’s during or after practice, Jongdae’s gotten to learn a lot more about Jongin and he can genuinely call him a friend now. It makes him extremely happy and his good mood has transferred over into his work too. Jongdae’s had many good practices as a result.

However, when there are good days there are also bad ones.

When the bad days occur, Jongdae has to remember that the good days do exist. Challenges can build strength. He can get through the difficult days if he doesn’t give up. Today however, he can’t even allow room for this kind of positive thinking. He’s completely stressed out again and despite how hard he tries, he just can’t seem to shake the feeling off this time.

It begins during practice when he makes a mistake during one of the parts he thought he had previously mastered. Usually it’s not a big deal. It’s a common thing to happen when Jongdae’s brain is already working so hard to remember the other moves, but today it gets the better of him.

Kasper runs through the part again, but Jongdae keeps messing up. He needs to stop making this mistake because he’s the only one making it. They can’t progress through practice if he keeps dancing like this. It’s been a month since he’s learned the dance so Jongdae should be past this point. His comeback date has already been set. He must film the MV in two weeks. He doesn’t have time for any more mistakes, but Jongdae just can’t seem to do it.

He can feel everyone’s eyes on him, including Jongin’s. They look like they want to help, but for some reason his feet just won’t move how he wants them to. Realizing this, Kasper tells him to move on for now, to work on it with Jongin afterwards. However when they do move on, Jongdae messes up another part. Then another. At this point, he feels so embarrassed and he feels even worse when Kasper suddenly announces that they should end practice for the day.

“Hey,” he pulls him aside. “Don’t let this overwhelm you. You’re still doing well and we all have our off days. Even professional dancers,” Kasper tries to encourage him. “Just try to work with Jongin and if it’s still not working out then it’s okay. Go home, empty your thoughts, and try not to stress about it anymore. You’ll get it eventually. Today just might not be that day.”

“Thanks Kasper. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” Kasper squeezes his shoulder for comfort. When he walks away, Jongin is already standing there and Jongdae hates the look on his face. He’s clearly worried and Jongdae doesn’t want that. He shouldn’t be worrying anyone.

“Can you do that move I had the most trouble with today? I want to look at your feet,” he asks before Jongin can speak a word to him.

Jongin doesn’t look happy but he does nod, “Of course.”

Jongdae watches how Jongin does it. He knows Jongin started with his right foot, but when he tries it again himself, Jongdae starts with his left. He doesn’t even know why. What is wrong with him?

“Let’s do it together slowly. I’ll walk you through the move,” Jongin offers so that’s what they do.

Jongin goes through it step by step, moves very slowly, and then changes the angle of his leg to how it should be. It feels awkward and Jongdae doesn’t feel flexible enough to do it like Jongin can. He’s not surprised that he still fails when they try to run through the move again.

“It’s okay. It’s just a move you have to practice. You’ll get used to it eventually.”

“Okay. Then let’s do it again.”

The disapproval is clear on his face so Jongdae tries it again without him. Another fail.

“Jongdae,” Jongin calls out for him but Jongdae ignores him. He manages to fail only two more times before he finally snaps, “Why can’t I do it!”

Jongin looks completely stunned and Jongdae’s not surprised. He’s not supposed to lose his temper and yell like this. He’s an idol. He’s supposed to be on his best behavior at all times, but now he’s even failed Jongin. Jongdae has to cover his face and sit down. 

He hates this. He hates this so much. He should be better than this. He’s been dancing for years now. This is not how someone who’s won a Daesang should be performing. It makes him want to cry because he’s so frustrated and Jongdae isn’t even the type of person who cries so why is he like this? And of all people, in front of the guy he likes.

“Hey…It’s okay. It’s okay.” He can feel Jongin sit down next to him and put a hand on his knee.

“Is it? I don’t even have two weeks before this dance must be mastered. I shouldn’t be making mistakes like this!”

“But you have to remember how difficult this dance is. This is normal for anyone and two weeks is still a lot of time. You can do this.”

“No, you don’t get it. Everyone is counting on me. I’m not just someone who can have a failed comeback. My song last year won at the Melon awards. Everyone is expecting another hit this year. They’re expecting a better song. If I’m not able to perform it properly, everyone’s hard work is going to go to waste and it’ll be my fault.”

Jongdae has to shut his eyes and lower his head so he doesn’t cry. “I don’t want to disappoint my fans. I really want to give them what they want. And I know that I can’t make everyone happy. No matter how hard I try, there will be someone who doesn’t like the song. But I still want to try. That’s why I’m so frustrated. Because even though I’m trying so hard, I’m still like this. At this rate I’m going to fail and I don’t want to fail Jongin.”

Jongin’s gently grab his hands and pulls them down from his face to hold them in his own hands. “Jongdae, look at me,” he calls softly. Jongdae has to take a deep breath, but when he looks up he meets Jongin’s eyes.

“I know how much you want to do this. I’ve seen how hard you worked this entire month. However, you’re not going to be able to perfect this dance today. Not because you’re going to fail or that you’re not capable. You’re honestly much more capable than you think you are but…it’s because dancing isn’t just physical. It’s also mental. And right now you have your own obstacle that you have to overcome.”

“I don’t know if I can do this then,” Jongdae drops his head again but Jongin catches his chin with his hand and he forces him to look back up.

“I believe you can. Listen.” He waits until Jongdae looks at him again, “I can only relate to you to an extent. I know how much of a burden it is when there are people who are relying on you. Except for you, the burden is so much greater than I can ever imagine. I can’t even begin to completely understand how you must be feeling right now. If I were you, I’d be terrified. I don’t judge you for feeling this way at all.”

“It’s hard,” Jongdae hears his voice crack.

“It is hard,” Jongin agrees. “And I’m not sure there is a solution I can give you, but I do want to tell you something that I think is even more important to understand. Like you said, you can’t please everyone and no matter how hard you try, there will always be someone who will criticize you. Even though you know that, it’s still not an easy thing to deal with. I know how badly you want a successful comeback. You want to improve yourself from last year and that’s completely possible. However, if you focus on all that pressure at once, it’s going to overwhelm you and affect you like it did today. I know that because I’ve experienced it myself.”

Jongin sighs. “When I was eighteen I had an audition for a famous international dance academy. If I had passed it, I would have made a lot of money. So not only would I be able to pay back the debt I owed my parents, but I could also show them that they didn’t waste their money on me. Getting accepted would make me successful and all my hard work would finally pay off. I would have achieved my dream,” Jongin’s voice travels off.

Jongdae can guess how this story will end. “I’m going to assume it didn’t go well since you’re still here and not in another country.”

Jongin smiles sadly, “No, it didn’t. Even though I practiced my routine to the point I was doing it in my dreams, on the day of auditions I stressed myself out so much that I collapsed before it was even my turn to go on. By the time I recovered enough to perform, the auditions had already ended.”

“Oh my god. I’m so sorry Jongin. That’s awful.”

He shrugs, “It was. I was very upset and mad at myself for blowing such a rare opportunity. I let the pressure and my fear of not making it ruin my chances even though I was capable of passing it. Although now I am thankful that I didn’t leave Korea, I still have some regret and I don’t want that to happen to you too. Even though you are talented and even though you are capable, if you let that fear take over your life, it’s going to be really difficult for you to do well. And that isn’t necessarily your fault. For some reason that just tends to happen.”

“Then what do I do? No matter what I do, this stress isn’t going to go away. How can I move past that?”

“I would return to what made you an idol in the first place, your passion and love for singing. Think about what makes you happy. Remember why this is your dream. For me, dancing changed my entire world. I love it with all my heart and I can’t imagine my life without it. I think I’ll still be dancing even when I’m on a cane and my legs don’t want to move anymore.”

Jongdae can’t help but smile, “Yeah, you’ll probably try to do some ridiculous cane routine even though you’ll be too old to be sexy.”

“Hey!!” Jongin looks extremely offended, “I’m still going to be sexy, thank you very much. And don’t diss old people like that!”

“You’re right, I’m sorry. I was just teasing you,” Jongdae laughs and Jongin laughs too before his smile softens. “Do you understand what I’m trying to say though? I want you to try to focus on what makes you happy. If you can focus on that instead, I think it will help you a lot because that’s what helped me.”

“Yes, I understand and I agree. I do try to remember why I became a singer. I also believe that is important, but lately I have been thinking more about not disappointing my fans.”

“Hm…Actually that’s another good point I can make then. You should realize that your true fans care about your happiness the most. They just want you to live your dreams and continue to do what you love. We’re so proud of you already Jongdae. Your hard work does not go unnoticed and we are so thankful for everything you have already given us. You really don’t owe us anything.”

“Us? Okay, be honest with me. You’re one of my fans, aren’t you?”

Jongin’s eyes widen and his mouth gaps open so much that Jongdae erupts with laughter, “I’ll be honest with you first then. I’m hoping you are my fan. I want you to like me.”

He says it looking directly into Jongin’s eyes. The silence between them is intense and he’s suddenly hyperaware of how close Jongin is, sitting across from him on the floor with Jongin’s hands still clasped around his for comfort. The only sound Jongdae can hear is the beating of his own heart because what he said means more than how it came out. He wonders if Jongin will realize that.

“Then I’ll admit it...I am your fan,” Jongin confesses. 

“This doesn’t look like practicing.”

Jongin’s hands fly out of Jongdae’s so fast, that Jongdae equally jumps up when Junmyeon appears at the door, holding two bags. They both quickly stand up from the floor.

“I thought you guys might be hungry so I brought food. Also thought you’d be working though…”

“He is!” Jongin is quick to defend him. “Jongdae’s just having a rough day and he needed a break. That’s why I was talking to him.”

Junmyeon’s eyebrows immediately furrow with concern, “Are you okay? You’re not stressing yourself out again are you?” Junmyeon, unfortunately, is no stranger to Jongdae’s breakdowns.

“He was, but we talked about it and I think he’s doing better now,” Jongin answers for him.

“Are you sure?” Junmyeon searches Jongdae’s face for the answer so Jongdae gives him a nod.

“Yes. Jongin was able to calm me down a lot. I honestly do feel a lot better now.”

Junmyeon sighs in relief, “Okay, good. I think it’s a good idea for you to end practice early today then.

“I think so too,” Jongdae relents. He turns to Jongin, “Thank you, for everything today.”

“Of course.”

“Um,” Jongdae gulps. “I’m also sorry you had to see me like that earlier. I didn’t mean to yell at you and I shouldn’t have done that. You were just trying to help and I was too frustrated to listen to you or treat you properly. I should have-“

Jongin cuts him off with a finger pressed to his lips. “Shhhh. You don’t have to explain yourself. I already understand and you didn’t do anything wrong. I’m actually happy you did do that. I think you tend to hold yourself back, but you decided to open up to me today and I really appreciate that. You made me feel special.”

It’s official. Jongin is literally the nicest guy Jongdae has ever met. He can’t believe that Jongin is smiling so brightly at him, unfazed by his shitty behavior earlier. It makes him feel like a normal person and that’s not a completely bad thing sometimes. He doesn’t get to feel that way often.

“That’s because you are special,” Jongdae confesses trying not to blush. “Thank you.”

Jongin blushes back, “Any time.”

“Well, I’ll just give you this bag of food…I brought…since we’re leaving early today.”

Jongdae legit forgot Junmyeon was still there until now…Oops.

“Yes, please take it. You should eat so you can stay healthy for the upcoming weeks,” Jongdae encourages him so Jongin takes the bag.

“Okay, thank you.”

“You’re welcome. Bye!” Jongdae quickly waves when Junmyeon forcefully grabs his hand and pulls him out the door.

\- 

Junmyeon doesn’t confront him until they're halfway to his apartment. “It’s not a good idea to have a dating scandal during a comeback Jongdae.”

Jongdae blushes furiously, “I’m not going to. We’re not dating.”

Even though he’s driving, Junmyeon manages to give him a thoroughly unimpressed look. “Right. Well, when you decide that you are no longer “not dating”, can you at least let me know? I need to be able to protect you if I have to.”

“Yes, I’ll let you know. Today might have been the first moment we ever had and it was ruined thanks to you.”

Jongdae can tell that Junmyeon rolling his eyes, “It’s not like I wanted to walk in on that. I think that was the most awkward moment of my life. Thanks a lot.”

Jongdae laughs and puts a hand on his manager’s arm, rubbing it apologetically, “I know, I’m really sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Junmyeon sighs. “Let’s just get you home. You must be physically and emotionally drained.” 

“Yeah. I’m glad today is over.”

Junmyeon chances a glance at him, “You sure you’re okay? You weren’t lying to me earlier so I wouldn’t panic, right?”

Jongdae nods with a yawn, “Yes, I really am okay. Just tired.”

Jongdae’s asleep by the time Junmyeon arrives at his apartment.

\- 

He happens to run into Baekhyun in the hallway after a session at the recording studio.

“Hey you! Long time no see or talk!” Baekhyun says because the last time Jongdae talked to Baekhyun was when he called to whine about Jongin.

“I know! I missed you.”

Jongdae means it because it wasn’t intentional. It’s common to lose touch with his friends during comeback season. However, the good thing about their friendship is that they both understand that. 

Sure enough, Baekhyun smiles unoffended, “I missed you too. I’ve been dying to ask you about Kai. Did you take my advice? Did you talk to him?”

Jongdae can’t help the grin that spreads across his face so Baekhyun knocks him with his elbow, “So you did huh?”

“Well, not exactly.” Baekhyun looks confused so Jongdae quickly explains, “I was right about him ignoring me on purpose so when I did try to talk to him, he still found a way to avoid me. Finally, I asked him out to dinner and during the meal I found out that he was avoiding me because he didn’t want to bother me. As my fan, he wanted to give me space since most of them don’t.”

“Seriously?” Baekhyun whistles, “Wow, I knew he was nice but fans like that are hard to come by. Why didn’t he do that for me?”

“I guess he’s more of a Chen fan than a Baekhyun fan,” Jongdae sticks out his tongue.

“Well he’s missing out because my fans are great,” Baekhyun sticks out his tongue back at him. They can joke about this freely because even though there’s a small rivalry between them, they don’t take it seriously. Baekhyun’s like a brother to him. He’s not a rival.

“You must be so happy then! Is he really just a fanboy or is he something else?” Baekhyun raises an eyebrow suggestively.

Jongdae has to blush. The first thought that comes into his mind is what happened a few days ago. Thankfully after the day of his breakdown, his practices have gone better. Jongin was able to add a day in Jongdae’s schedule where they could practice alone together for almost the entire day. 

It was an extremely exhausting day and it didn’t start out well either. Jongdae still made a lot of the same mistakes, but unlike last time, he didn’t let it deter him and Jongin gave him encouragement the entire time. He didn’t give up on Jongdae. He worked with him until Jongdae felt confident.

Then, it finally happened before the end of the day. Jongdae made it through the entire dance without a single mistake. After he hit his ending pose, he turned around and immediately met Jongin’s arms, pulling him to his chest.

“Jongdae that was great!! I knew you could do it!”

He remembers how amazing it felt to be in Jongin’s embrace. He’s strong, but also warm and cuddly. Jongin’s arms are big enough to wrap themselves entirely around his back. In response, Jongdae wrapped his arms around his waist and comfortably rested his chin on his shoulder. He discovered that they have the perfect height difference that day.

“We became friends,” Jongdae eventually answers but Baekhyun looks skeptical.

“Friends with benefits?”

“NO!” Jongdae accidently hits his arm harder than he meant to. Baekhyun yelps and Jongdae quickly rubs it even though he’s still not completely sorry.

“Okay, okay I got it,” he nods repeatedly. “You’re still lacking a sex life.”

“Hey! I’m busy trying to have a comeback!” Jongdae defends himself, but Baekhyun still cracks a grin at him. 

“Well if anything changes, please let me know because I do hope that everything works out for you guys. I can already tell you like him a lot and you deserve someone to take care of you for once. You’re always doing too much for other people. I want Kai to spoil you this time.”

Jongdae’s face softens, “Thank you Baekhyun. We’ll have to wait and see. I still don’t know how he feels about me, but I’ll stay hopeful.” 

After all, in this situation, that’s probably the best he can do.

\- 

Jongdae’s asleep when Junmyeon wakes him up with a coffee. He’d rather keep sleeping but the sensation of a brush against his cheek reminds him that he’s still in the middle of makeup right now. He must have accidentally fallen asleep when the stylist was applying his eye shadow.

“I know the makeup helps hide it, but we need you to look more awake when we start filming,” Junmyeon reminds him, handing the iced coffee.

“Thank you,” Jongdae tells him before taking a sip. Coffee’s not his favorite drink, but he likes iced coffee and it does help. He’s going to be filming for two days straight so he’ll probably be drinking a lot more of these.

Nevertheless, Jongdae kind of enjoys filming his music videos. His themes have always been fun and interesting. This time his song is about a guy who wants to be his girl’s prince charming. Therefore, the set and outfits are very fairytale like. 

Jongdae’s dressed in an unbuttoned, dark blue coat that looks very much like something a royal prince would wear. There are gold cufflinks, matching gold embroidery, and a white satin shirt tucked underneath into his long trousers. He’s not sure if prince charming would wear a V neck that’s as deep as the one he’s wearing right now, but his chest doesn’t look bad. When he looks at his reflection in the mirror, he does think he looks like a handsome prince.

However, what’s going to kill his fans isn’t his outfit. It’s his hair. This week, for the first time in his life, Jongdae bleached his hair. He’s blond.

Jongdae was extremely worried about it because he’s was always skeptical about looking good with blond hair. Albeit he was worried after the first stage when his hair was a crazy platinum blond, but now it’s a darker blond and he likes it! He’ll have to thank his fans for bothering him about dying his hair for so long. They seemed to know it would look good after all.

However, there’s one reaction he hasn’t received yet and that is Jongin’s. Due to his other schedules, Jongdae hasn’t been able to see him since the color change. Jongin has no idea he dyed his hair, but Jongdae really hopes he’ll like it. At least he’ll be finding out today.

It doesn’t take long to finish preparing him for his first scene so Jongdae quickly chugs the last of his coffee and stands up to follow Junmyeon to the main set. Then, Jongdae’s quickly introduced to the people he’ll be working with the most for filming such as the director, photographer, and actress. Today they’re starting with the acting scenes first. They’re saving the dance scenes for last since it tends to ruin his hair and makeup.

And for the most part, filming does go well. The actress is a couple years younger than him, but she’s nice and easy to work with. They’re able to act through each scene with a lot of approval from the director. He likes working with her, but Jongdae is a little suspicious that she has a crush on him because she keeps clinging to him after takes or when they’re evaluating the what was shot on the monitor together.

However, the problem isn’t her subtle flirting. It’s the chill that runs down his spine when they’re huddled in front of the monitor again and the actress is too close for comfort. Something makes Jongdae look up and he immediately meets Jongin’s gaze from across the room.

The backup dancers have finally been brought to the set and this is the first time he’s seeing Jongin. Yet, Jongdae can’t read his expression at all. Whether he likes Jongdae’s hair, makeup, outfit, or anything. He only looks at him with a look that’s feels so intense that after the clip ends, Jongdae has to ask to be excused so he can go over to greet them.

“You’re blond?!?!” Yixing exclaims first when he walks up.

“It looks good!” Kasper exclaims and the others agree which makes Jongdae smile.

“Thanks! I’m glad you guys think so. It’s a change for sure.”

He looks at Jongin and Jongin responds by stepping up to him until he’s close enough that Jongdae has to look up to maintain the eye contact. He feels as if his heart is going to pound out of his chest by being this close to him. Then Jongin lifts a hand and carefully touches his hair.

“Blond looks really, really good on you. I think you fit the prince theme very well.”

His stylist is probably having a fit somewhere behind him, but Jongdae could care less right now. Jongin smiles at him and for some reason that makes Jongdae feel like he can breathe again. Jongin doesn’t hate it. He likes the blond on him after all.

“Thank you.”

Jongdae shyly turns his head to everyone else. “You all look amazing!! I love the outfits they gave you. My very own princes!” Jongdae tries to tease. It’s difficult when he can still feel Jongin’s presence so close to him. It only gets closer when he slides a hand behind his back to hold him.

“Yours only,” Jongin then boldly winks at him.

Jongdae wasn’t expecting that. Jongin usually doesn’t talk to him like this. It almost seems flirtatious. Thankfully no one else seems to notice or comment about it before the director calls for Jongdae to come back.

“I’m probably going to have an outfit change after I get some pictures taken with the photographer. Then it’ll be our turn so I’ll see you guys soon,” Jongdae quickly waves goodbye to them, slipping away from Jongin’s touch. However, even though he left them, Jongin still has Jongdae thinking about him throughout the entire photoshoot.

Jongdae was right about the outfit change. This time he gets put into a buttoned red coat with numerous intricate designs stitched in gold that cover the entire jacket. Underneath he wears a black shirt and tight black pants he can still dance in. The outfit matches his dancers who are wearing the same outfit except in jackets without the designs. When they get together for the first time on set as a group, no one can deny that they look amazing.

Jongdae stands in his starting position. “Good luck everyone!” he shouts and everyone returns the cheer. He looks over to Jongin who is not standing too far away from him and he receives a small thumbs up. ‘Good luck,’ he mouths silently to him and the encouragement is all Jongdae needs.

Every recording they take runs smoothly with great enthusiasm from the director. When they check the monitor, Jongdae is amazed by what he sees. All that practice and countless hours working alone with Jongin visibly paid off. Jongdae’s feels the best he’s ever felt. Even when he begins to get tired, he still finds enough energy to push through the takes until the director finally announces that they got all their shots for the day.

Jongin’s the first person to embrace him and Jongdae lets himself lean into his body. He’s beyond exhausted now, sweaty and hungry too, but nothing feels better than the proud look that’s radiating off from Jongin’s face. 

“That was the best I’ve seen you dance! You did so well!”

Jongdae squints his eyes to shout, “We did it!”

He receives a laugh from everyone on the set, including Jongin who releases his hold on him so Jongdae can hug and high five the others. Yixing gives his butt a pat which makes him laugh, but that’s just a Yixing thing.

After Jongdae bids his goodbyes to everyone, Junmyeon leads him back to his dressing room where he immediately changes out of his sweaty clothes and gets into the comfortable gym clothes that Junmyeon had packed for him. When he comes out from the bathroom Junmyeon is gone, but his makeup artist is there with makeup wipes waiting for him to take a seat at the mirror. Jongdae thinks he might fall asleep again like he did this morning, but there’s a knock on the door that forces him open his eyes to see Jongin peeking in through the door.

“Hey, I was wondering if you’d like some company. Don’t know if I’m allowed to be in here though.”

“Of course you are! Take a seat!” Jongdae pats the empty chair next to him so Jongin comes in and sits down. He has to look at him through the mirror since his makeup is still being removed.

“Goodbye makeup,” Jongin laughs which causes Jongdae to laugh too.

“I won’t miss it. It’ll be back again tomorrow anyways.”

“That’s true. It looked good on you though. The blue eyeshadow was perfect for your outfit and hair.”

“Yeah? I was really happy when you mentioned my hair earlier. So you don’t think it was a mistake?” Jongdae’s fishing for more compliments, so sue him. He didn’t burn his scalp for nothing.

“Not at all!” Jongin takes the bait. “I don’t think you realize just how good you look Jongdae. I liked your brown hair a lot, but the blond gives you an entirely new aura.”

Jongdae’s makeup artist finishes up so he tells her goodbye and then turns to face Jongin.

“A new aura? I haven’t been told that yet. What is it? Is it Hotter? Sexier?”

“That’s hard to say,” Jongin says putting a finger on his chin. “You were already very hot and sexy before,” he smirks.

Okay, Jongin is definitely flirting with him and Jongdae might have a heart attack by the end of the day if this continues. Today’s the first time that Jongin has ever flirted with him this obviously. It’s thrilling, yet kind of terrifying at the same time because it catches Jongdae completely off guard and he wonders what it was that happened today to make him change like this.

“What is it then?” he lamely asks instead.

Jongin doesn’t answer him at first, his eyes roaming up and down his body instead. He’s freaking checking him out even though he’s in T-shirt and lounge pants with no makeup on. Holy shit. Does Jongin like him back? What happened to the shy cutie from a few weeks ago? Jongdae’s too shook to react.

“It’s hard to describe, but it’s definitely a compliment,” Jongin eventually answers. “I don’t know if you noticed, but everyone was looking at you today. Especially that actress.” The smile on his face gets replaced with a scowl and Jongdae can’t believe it. Jongin is actually pouting. He’s jealous!

“Well they were filming my music video so I have to have a lot of attention on me. I did notice what you’re talking about though. I think she has a small crush on me.”

“Small?” he scoffs. “She was constantly touching you and wrapping her hands around your arm!”

“Okay, well maybe she likes me a bit more than that.” 

Jongdae takes a deep breath and breathes out before lowering his voice, “She shouldn’t though because I would unintentionally hurt her if she did. She’s not my type, if you know what I mean.” He gives him a look.

That seems to peek Jongin’s interest a lot because his eyes widen significantly, “So you’re saying…”

“Yes, I’m gay,” he whispers.

One of the biggest smiles that Jongdae has ever seen on Jongin, blossoms on his face and he reaches for Jongdae’s hands to hold them both in his own.

“Me too!” he says breathlessly, then adds softly, “I’m also gay.”

Jongdae really hoped he was too, especially with this now unspoken tension between them, but the open confirmation feels great nonetheless. “Then I trust you’ll be able to keep the secret? I haven’t come out to the public yet. Only a few people know, like Junmyeon and Baekhyun.”

Jongin’s nod is immediate, “Of course! I won’t tell anyone, ever. Not without your permission at least. You can trust me.”

Jongdae looks down at their enclosed hands and smiles, “I already do.”

Unfortunately, Junmyeon decides to come back at that moment and the sigh he lets out is loud enough for them to hear. 

“The van’s ready to take you back to your apartment Jongdae. You need to eat and sleep so you can handle tomorrow,” he says quickly gathering what’s left of Jongdae’s things.

“I’m sorry I have to go now,” Jongdae apologizes but Jongin shakes his head.

“Don’t be. Sleep well and I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Okay. Goodbye Jongin.”

“Bye Jongdae.”

They look like they both don’t want to leave, but Junmyeon gives him a pleading look so Jongdae doesn’t fight back. Poor Junmyeon deserves a break.

\- 

They managed to finish shooting the music video late into the night the next day. This happened mainly because they had to relocate to two different sets in one day but overall, there were no problems. He didn’t have a difficult time shooting the rest of the scenes and from the previews he saw, he liked the pictures taken for his album. He’s happy, but Jongdae’s so tired by the end of it that Junmyeon had to lead him by the waist into the van before he fell asleep.

Thankfully he had been able to say goodbye to Jongin earlier when they finished filming the rest of the dance. However, since that day Jongdae hasn’t been able to see him as often as he’d like to. 

His schedules have picked up again, including prerecordings for his promotions. He’s even flown to Japan for a Kpop concert he participated in. That’s how busy he’s been. Granted he still has practices, but ever since he mastered the dance, practicing with the group has become the most important. He hasn’t really had one-on-one time with Jongin since that day in the dressing room, which completely sucks.

Jongdae cannot stop thinking about Jongin. He’s almost positive that Jongin likes him back. Not only did Jongin made his advances clear that day, but there’s also a noticeable difference in the way Jongin treats him every time he does get to see him. Jongin is literally always looking for an excuse to touch Jongdae. He’ll put his hand on his shoulder, stand close enough to him so their hands brush, or he’ll even wrap his arms around him from behind for a hug.

It’s gotten to the point that Jongdae can hardly believe there was a time when he was complaining to Baekhyun about being ignored because he feels as if Jongin is constantly watching him. He’s not shameful about it either. If Jongdae looks back, Jongin still won’t look away. Sometimes he’ll smile at him with an incredible amount of warmth and admiration in his eyes and other times…he’ll do more.

It happens when they’re days away from his album dropping. Jongdae’s practicing with the group again, watching himself in the mirror when his eyes happen to catch Jongin’s. 

Usually it’s not a problem. Admittedly normal because he’s always itching to watch Jongin dance again and Jongin’s usually too absorbed into his own dancing to notice. But that doesn’t happen this time. This time, his eyes are looking through the mirror, directly at Jongdae.

Then it happens in slow motion. Jongin runs a hand through his hair and pushes his head back for his jawline to flaunt all of its glory. With parted lips, his tongue slips out to run across his bottom lip and then his bangs fall back onto his face, over sultry eyes.

Jongdae misses a step and Jongin smirks. He needs to look away before he messes up again. However, it almost feels impossible for him to stop watching, especially when Jongin doesn’t stop.

He begins rolling his hips much lower and much more confidently than anyone else in the room. It is part of the choreography, but Jongin’s making it a lot sexier. Jongdae’s even more helpless because Jongin decided to wear pants today that seemed to hug him in all the right regions. If Jongdae wasn’t so tired, he would have popped a boner right then and there. Usually he can’t do that when he’s tired, but Jongin’s really putting him to the test today.

The rest of the dance is spent with Jongdae sneaking more glances at Jongin and getting more inappropriate views every time. Jongin’s a freaking pro at finding a way to make every move seductive.

When the dance ends and Jongdae’s breathing harder than normal, Jongin looks extremely pleased. Yes, he was successful. Jongdae is officially aroused. Congratulations. 

However, Jongin shouldn’t underestimate him. If Jongin’s not be afraid to take a risk like that in a room full of people then Jongdae can do it too. He’s not afraid to pull out the guns if he has to.

“Let’s do it again,” Jongdae requests, grabbing the sleeve of his shirt. One before the other, he rolls them up past his shoulders. Jongin’s eyes narrow in on his exposed arms and this time it’s Jongdae’s turn to smirk.

Jongdae might not have rock hard abs, but he does have huge biceps and he’s very proud of them. He’s someone who used to have thin arms, but he worked very hard to develop these muscles. His fans go crazy for them and now, he’s going to make Jongin go crazy too.

This time when the music starts, Jongdae takes full advantage of the dance. He learned some lessons by watching Jongin. His thighs might hurt tomorrow, but he bends his knees to get lower and he makes every move more pronounced. He doesn’t hold back for any of the hip thrusts and body rolls, breaking no eye contact with Jongin who seems to be the one struggling with the dance this time.

When Jongdae rolls his head and slides a hand down his body, Jongin’s feet miss a step. Until today, he hasn’t ever seen Jongin make a mistake. At least not a noticeable one. Jongin’s talented enough to immediately recover, but he can see the look of shock on his face. He’s having an effect on Jongin too.

They run through the dance a few more times on repeat until Kasper turns off the music. “Jongdae, you asked if you could have an hour with Jongin today?”

“Yeah. I’d like one more before promotions start.”

Kasper nods, “Alright. We’ll end here with the group then. Work hard. We’ll see you soon.”

“I will,” Jongdae says and then wishes them goodbye. 

He doesn’t even dare to look at Jongin until the room becomes empty. He goes for a sip from his water bottle instead because he needs iit. He already feels like he’s going to explode any minute, but he does his best to keep the emotion from his face when finally lifts and bends a finger, “Come here.”

It’s ironic how shy Jongin looks compared to the expressions he was giving him earlier, but he obeys and comes closer until he’s standing directly in front of him.

Jongdae has to close his eyes and take a deep breath before he does this. He honestly shouldn’t do what he’s about to do, but he knows it’ll be better in the long run. That’s why he asked Kasper and Junmyeon for this extra hour today. He’s not going to waste this valuable time.

“I’m going to be greedy. If I shouldn’t be then you can stop me and I’ll stop. But you’ve made me want to be selfish.” Jongdae reaches for Jongin’s face and he holds it between his hands before pulling his lips down onto his own.

Jongin’s response is immediate. His lips move against his and he kisses back with as much energy as Jongdae. Hands eagerly grab his waist and pull him forward until their chests touch and his arms can slip around to hold him closer. To accommodate, Jongdae wraps his arms around his neck and tilts his head so they can deepen the kiss.

Honestly, this is not Jongdae’s ideal kind of kiss. They’re both still sweaty from dancing so Jongdae can feel their shirts rubbing uncomfortably against each other. He can taste salt from the kiss too, which isn’t exactly appealing. With that said, Jongdae truly and genuinely likes Jongin because he’s loving every second of it. He doesn’t care at all. Jongin could taste awful and Jongdae would still kiss the fuck out of him.

Jongin must feel the same way because he’s kissing him so passionately that Jongdae’s heart is swelling up with happiness and relief. Jongin is such an amazing man. Such an amazing kisser. His lips are as wonderful as they look and he’s trying to remind himself that this was supposed to be a brief kiss so they can talk about this. They need to do that, but he doesn’t want to stop and Jongin doesn’t let him either.

Jongin slips some tongue into the kiss and then Jongdae’s a goner. He doesn’t know who taught Jongin how to kiss, but they did a _very_ good job. It’s probably a blessing in disguise that they’re both too sweaty to take this further because Jongdae would have left his lips and explored in a second if the sweat wasn’t a reminder of where they are. It would be disastrous if anyone came in so Jongdae tries to remember that when he pulls away and Jongin chases his lips.

“We can’t get caught. At least not yet,” he tries to convince him.

“I can’t help it,” Jongin admits before closing in and Jongdae grows weak when he kisses those addicting lips again. Jongin’s successful for a while too until Jongdae finally manages to put some distance between them again.

“We should still stop.”

“Mhmm.” Contrary to his agreement, Jongin tries to kiss him again and Jongdae has to laugh, putting a hand over his lips to stop him.

“You know, for someone who was so concerned about my idol life that he originally ignored me, you sure are comfortable around me now.”

Jongin’s eyes, which were definitely staring at his lips, look back up in fear. He literally jumps back, breaking all physical contact from him and Jongdae instantly regrets it.

“Oh my god you’re right! I just kissed Chen! I’m so sorry!”

“Well, it’s more like you kissed Jongdae, but that’s not important right now. I was just teasing you. Come back here,” he whines reaching out for him.

Thankfully the panic seems to dissipate a little and Jongin steps back until he’s close enough that Jongdae can take his hands and hold them in his own.

“Listen, I like you a lot. So much that I want us to be more than just friends. I want to take you out on a date, I want us to start a relationship, and I want you to be my boyfriend.”

“But you’re an idol…” He looks like he knows what Jongdae’s about to say so Jongdae rubs a thumb over his knuckles because it’s not necessarily what he thinks.

“I am. Therefore, it’s hard for me to do that right now because of my comeback. I’m sure you’re aware, but we’re so busy during comebacks that we don’t even have time to fully eat or sleep, let alone to be dating. That’s why I called myself selfish. Because I kissed you, but I’m also going to ask you to wait until my promotions are over so I take you out on a proper date.”

Jongin blinks, “You really want to date me?”

“Yes. I really, really do if you’re willing to be in a relationship with me and everything that comes along with my job. That’s something we can figure out together when we have more time to discuss everything.”

Jongin nods. “I’ve never dated an idol before, but yes, I want to try and I’m willing to wait. I like you so much too Jongdae. I can’t believe this is happening.”

The smile that comes across his face is absolutely stunning. Jongdae hopes they will be able to work out this out because he would love to make Jongin smile like that again and again.

“Well, I was kind of hoping that I wasn’t imagining the flirting. Especially today. What the fuck Jongin? We were in the middle of practice!”

Jongin bursts out laughing and there are no traces of guilt on his face. He grabs Jongdae’s waist and pulls him close so he can slip his arms around him again. It makes him lose his breath for a second.

“Yeah, I have been flirting. I find you extremely attractive, but everyone else wants you too so of course I’m going to go after you. You’re worth fighting for. Plus, you look especially good today.”

Jongdae doesn’t think he looks different from any other day he goes to practice, but it wins him over easily. He’s blushing like crazy right now.

“Thank you Jongin. You’re worth fighting for too.”

They both smile at each other before meeting halfway to kiss again. If his promotions end well and they’re willing to go for this, maybe it’ll work out after all. Jongdae can’t help but to be optimistic for the future.

\- 

“2017 Melon Music Award, Best Song of The Year goes to...Chen!”

It isn’t until Baekhyun forces him to stand up and give him a fierce hug that Jongdae realizes what just happened. He vaguely remembers greeting other artists, his song blasting from the speakers in the background as he makes his way up to the stage. He’s already shaking when he accepts the award with a deep bow. He can’t believe he’s standing here on stage again with the same award for the second year in a row.

He sees hundreds of sparkling lights, his fans waving their light sticks in the air, screaming and shouting his name proudly. It’s literally something that would come straight out of a dream, but it’s real life. Jongdae is really standing here on stage, in front of a microphone, and holding the Daesang he worked so hard for.

Last year he was in so much shock that he was able to make it halfway through his speech before crying. This year there’s already a tear running down his face that he has to quickly wipe away. It’s too difficult to compose himself, but he has so many people he needs to thank. He takes the microphone and holds it up to his lips.

“To stand here again…” Jongdae takes a deep breath, “I can’t begin to express how thankful I am. This award is something that means so much to me and I would never be here today if it weren’t for all the people who helped me along the way.”

To be safe, he had memorized the list of people he wanted to thank if he won an award tonight so he runs through that list, expressing his gratitude one by one and spending the most time thanking his amazing fans who fought hard and voted for him. He pauses for a second.

“I’d also like to thank my backup dancers. This song gave me a lot new challenges and my stage would have never been complete without them. They’re a reason why I can stand on this stage here today so I want to thank them all for so much. Thank you to my extremely talented choreographer Kasper, who created such an incredible dance. I also want to thank Kai, who was there to help me as a teacher and a friend.”

Jongdae can’t help smiling. Jongin might still be backstage or he’s out there somewhere in the audience watching his speech since they had already performed earlier. Wherever he is though, he knows he’s listening and hopefully he liked his little shout out.

“I couldn’t have done this without any of you. I promise to work my hardest so that I may pay you back and show you my best! Thank you all again so much! I love you!!!” he roars into the microphone, much to his fans delight.

He just lived one of the proudest moments of his life.

\- 

Apparently Jongin was in the audience because Jongdae doesn’t get to see him again until after the ceremony is over and he’s ushered to his private dressing room that’s backstage. When Jongdae enters, Jongin immediately throws his arms around him and pulls him into a tight hug. Jongdae realizes he’s crying when his body shakes against his.

“You did it!” Jongin pulls back to look at him with red eyes and a quivering lip before pulling him forward again. He pets his hair, “I’m so proud of you!!!” He cries again and Jongdae has to pet his giant teddy bear’s back because when Jongin cries, he cries a lot.

“Thank you Jongin,” he says feeling as if he’s about to cry again himself. Jongin has been there for him this entire year. Jongdae feels beyond blessed.

“I’ll let you two have your moment, but I don’t know how long I can keep people from coming in so make it quick,” Junmyeon warns them before leaving the room.

As soon as the door closes, Jongin pulls back and crashes his lips against Jongdae. He cradles his face with trembling hands and Jongdae fists his shirt for support. They’ve had their fair share of intense kisses, but this one might be the most emotional one yet. When their lips part, Jongin smiles at him. 

“You’re so amazing Jongdae! You deserve this more than anyone! I’m so happy for you! I love you so much!”

“I love you too,” Jongdae confesses and he truly means it, with all of his heart. He reaches up and wipes his tears away with both thumbs, “Thank you so much Jongin, for everything. I wish I could have said more in my speech, but I really meant it when I said that I could have never done this without you.”

“I’m more than happy to be here. It’s an honor, really. And I loved your speech! That was one of the nicest things anyone could have ever done for me.” 

“I’m glad,” Jongdae smiles, then Jongin’s kissing him again.

It’s another year completed and Jongdae couldn’t be happier. This year was by far the most difficult one he’s had since debut and he knows that he will face a lot of the same challenges again next year. He’ll probably have some mental breakdowns, but he’s not as scared as he was last year. He has so many people around him who love and support him, and this year he also has Jongin. No matter what happens and no matter where life takes him, nothing seems so bad as long as Jongin is with him. As a matter of fact, he couldn’t ask for anything more.


End file.
